Ocean City Beach Patrol just issued a statement saying they aren’t going to kill any topless sunbathers’ vibes this summer.
Ladies (and gentlemen,) you can thank Chelsea Covington, who convinced the Worcester County State’s Attorney to talk to the Maryland Attorney General’s Office. Political things I don’t care to understand happened and now women and men alike don’t have to wear shirts if they want to because of the Equal Protection Act.
It doesn’t really change things for me, since I live in Baltimore now, and I’d rather die than have some white-trash Allentown tourist see my tits.
So how does this apply to the hormone crazed 17-year-old senior week idiots chugging handles of Burnett’s on the beach?
Assuming, this new policy is applied to women of all ages, June Bugs are still going to be getting arrested or given citations for the dumb shit they usually do including underage drinking, disturbing the peace, disorderly conduct, etc.
Obviously beach tourist mama bears are going to need to bitch to someone about their kids seeing boobies so Beach Patrol has to document all complaints until the politicians decide what they actually think about the issue.
Personally, I’m all about equal rights, but I think all the douchebags wearing neon boardwalk “Party With Sluts” t-shirts are going to come out creepin’ in full force and the negatives outweigh the benefit of having no tan lines. However, it’s nice to know that I won’t be arrested for getting half naked on the beach if I have one too many grape grenades at Riptide.
Everyone send me Snapchats.
*After this article was published the Town of Ocean City issued a statement claiming Ocean City is not a topless beach and OCPD will handle all complaints regarding topless sunbathers. City council issued an “emergency ordinance” regarding the threat of nudity. There will now be a $1,000 fine for females who expose their breasts, effective immediately.
Megan Koester 